At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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