woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize