he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
