I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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