So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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