he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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