I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
