Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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