We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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