Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
