last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
