I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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