K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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