Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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