3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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