I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I wish you could order shots online.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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