Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
