I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
