my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
