It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
only you would photoshop your dick
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
BRING THE BAGELS
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize