my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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