i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
