They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
