A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
