trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
