Screwed.edu
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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