She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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