I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize