At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
