I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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