that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
