dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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