mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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