Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
