On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Randomize
