If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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