Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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