I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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