we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
