I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize