can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
