i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I need a beard to bite.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
