ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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