felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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