We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
