I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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