so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
