I haven't been this sober since birth.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
