Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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