So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
