So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
