I just saw a hot homeless man
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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