so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Green mimosas i think yes
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
