I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
