my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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