How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
50% drunk capacity currently
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize