we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize