I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
