I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
