Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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