don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Randomize
