and you said cock pushups were impossible
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
