I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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