This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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