bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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