i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
