Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Found the puke drawer
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize