I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
